Does diabetes affect your sex life?
Sex may be the most powerful and enjoyable three letter word in the language. I’ll be that you’re shaking your head up and down or saying, “hell yeah!” Ok so we all agree that is one the best pleasurable things in life. I think we can agree too that diabetes is not one of the pleasurable things in life. Sex and diabetes can go together when diabetes is a cause of less or no more sex. Either way you want to know where the problem lies and what you can do about it.
If you’re not really in the mood lately like you used to be, it’s not you. Over 35% of women and 75% of men with diabetes are going through the same feeling of little or no desire for sex. Diabetes can affect you and your body in so many ways that you never thought about before being diagnosed with it.
The best thing you can do is to get your blood sugar levels under control. The next is to talk to your partner and then your physician. You might be thinking well, I don’t have diabetes but he (or she) does. So now what? We’ll get into that shortly.
Controlling the diabetes first off
Is the lack of interest truly related to diabetes? What is to blame for your sex drive diminishing? Is it fatigue, stress from work or home, your age, your partner? Are you depressed? Are there many distractions in your life or in the bedroom? Is boredom the cause? So pinpointing the cause is where it begins. But if you’re diabetic, that’s probably the cause. First talk to your doctor about it and if nothing else is brewing except diabetes, then let’s see what solutions are available.
The things you want to control that are diabetes related begin with lowering your blood sugar. Once you get your numbers to where they should be you’ll be on the right track. Your glucose should be under 7.0 but if you’re a diabetic you probably already know that. Monitor your sugar levels everyday. It’s mostly about eating right and exercising but if you want your sex drive back, then I’m sure it’s worth it.
High blood pressure is another thing you don’t want to fool around with and ignore. It can affect you in many ways such as your heart, kidneys, liver and every other organ in your body. You don’t want a heart attack or stroke. Of course high blood pressure affects diabetes. Have it checked by your doctor frequently or pick up your own and you can check it at home or on the go.
Triglyceride levels should be checked too. High levels are not good for you. Cholesterol clogs your arteries and that’s why your cholesterol numbers should be part of your labs when you have them checked.
Lose weight! I know. You’re tired if hearing those two words but with diabetes and your health in general it’s the biggest benefit for your health overall, not just for diabetes. Being overweight causes many issues including low self esteem and losing the desire for sex. There are numerous ways to lose weight and if diets and other things don’t work, then sit down with a nutritionist.
The best way is to eat less and move more. Ok, so maybe you can’t cut out everything and you hate exercise. Make a choice to compromise and follow a better healthier diet and exercise some. I hate running. But walking is something we do everyday so why not just increase it?
I love riding my bike. I go everyday if the weather permits. If not, I use my exercise bike. I also go to the gym. I don’t kill myself but it’s all about getting up and moving. I took a break while writing now and just got back from a 30 minuet bike ride. It clears my head and it burns calories. So again, eat less and move more.
Other reasons for not having sex lately
- You might not feel as connected with your partner as you used to. Was there an argument or arguments?
- If there was an affair there may not be the trust and or desire to so soon afterward.
- Have you felt that your sexual performance was sub par? Maybe it worries you?
- Something said by you or your partner that was undesirable?
- Is time an issue? There never seems to be enough time for everything.
- You’re not feeling good about how your body is. Has it changed?
- Just take the time to relax and think about what the cause might be.
If you try something that you believe could be causing your low sex drive and it doesn’t help, don’t get discouraged. It might be more than one issue responsible. If it is diabetes and your doctor agrees then start controlling it immediately. Whatever the case, just stay calm and try the next thing on the list.
Discussions with your doctor
It’s not the easiest subject to discuss with your doctor. But it’s still an important health issue that you need to talk about. Just be yourself and feel that you can tell him or her anything. Have a list of questions with you to ask. Just say that you’re having intimacy problems and ask if it could be related to diabetes. Then you can work out a plan that can help.
You and your partner working it out together
This may be about just you or your partner or even both of you. Like any other problems in life, it pays to sit down and discuss it. Remember two heads are better than one. This may be better for you or you may want to speak with a counselor. I always felt that sitting down with my significant other was the best choice. Keeping communication open is a wise decision. Not communicating could be the cause of lack of sex too.
Stress always seems to play a big role in everything especially in the bedroom. If something is bothering you or your partner and you keep it inside without talking it out, then it won’t get resolved and neither will the intimacy in your relationship.
Did you know that your brain is the most powerful sex organ in your body? Ok, bring on the food! LOL Foods with serotonin may get you in the mood. So try dark chocolate. But only a little because with diabetes you’re watching your sugar intake,right?
Who else wants sex again? What can you do?
- Change up the time. Maybe you’re too tired at night or at bedtime. Is morning better or not so close to bedtime when you’re completely exhausted? It might even be better if it’s not planned to a specific time each day. Maybe afternoons on the weekend put you in the mood too.
- Is dryness a problem? Lubricants may help if this is the issue. You can discuss this with your doctor if you are talking to him or her about sex.
- Medications. Again in speaking with you doctor, this could be an option for decreased sex drive, dryness in the vaginal area, or erectile dysfunction. Controlling your blood sugar will help prevent blood vessel and nerve damage that can eventually lead to erectile dysfunction.
- Check your blood sugars often. Regular exercise increases blood flow and erections, vaginal lubrication, and sexual arousal all have to do with blood circulation.
- Depression. This is a real downer. If you are depressed there’s not much hope of you wanting anything to do with sex.
- Confidence. Are you lacking confidence or having low self esteem? You have to feel good about yourself before you can feel good about your partner. It doesn’t matter what other people think. It only matters what you think and don’t let anyone else make you feel otherwise.
- Bored? Has sex just gotten to be repetitive and boring? Try something new. Sex toy? Video? Surroundings? Different positions? How about planning a romantic evening out first? Do you fantasize?
- Sex therapist. They can really help if you feel the need to discuss this openly with a professional.
Ironing out the kinks
If you’ve got your diabetes under control and that’s not the issue then many of the other possible problems could be causing the “invisible sex” that you’re now having. It should start with discussion. If you pretty much know what the problem is then fix it. If you don’t, then try one step at a time eliminating what it isn’t until you find out what it is. It might be more than one thing that you’re dealing with here. That’s where a specialist can help you. But if it is just one issue and it relates to diabetes? Then you know what you have to do.
Diabetes is not a death sentence if you take control. It can be taken care of if you are willing to do what it takes. It’s the same with the libido issue. The time is now because it won’t solve itself. Only you two can do that. Talking things out helps a lot of the time and sometimes you have to turn to the professionals. But the more that you know about diabetes and what it can and what you can do about it, the better off you will be.
Something lead up to this lack of sex. There’s a solution to every problem. With diabetes, it can wreak havoc on your body IF you let it and don’t do something about it. So get moving because I’m sure it’s as frustrating for your partner as it is for you. It will work out because nothing stays the same forever. Knowledge is power. Take it and you can solve your problem.
It is my hope that you learned something constructive here that will help you in your search to light the fires once again. If you have any comments, please leave them below and I will get right back to you. Thank you and I appreciate it!